Stupid Rumours

BBC's rumours:

West Ham will see off competition from Portsmouth in the £10m battle for Bolton striker Nicolas Anelka. (Mail)
- Is Sammy Lee trying the Gareth Southgate school of transfer deals?

Middlesbrough are poised to sign Egypt striker Emad Moteab for £2m, paving the way for Yakubu to join Everton. (Sun)
Everton will make a club-record £11m bid for Yakubu. (Mail)

- The master is still at it, though. Looks like a move to make Mido happy and relegate Boro, while pushing Everton on to challenge the Big Four (c) Spurs.

Tottenham boss Martin Jol has been given the dreaded vote of confidence - two games into the season. (Star)
Curbishley has six weeks to establish West Ham as European contenders or he will be sacked. (Mirror)
- Nonsense, nonsense, nonsense.


England boss Steve McClaren is still considering a recall for much-maligned striker Emile Heskey. (Star)
- Wonderful.

Michael Owen will be on the bench when Newcastle take on Aston Villa on Saturday. (Sun)
- After 60 minutes against a pub team and a closed-doors against Gretna, McClown must hope England's Michael Owen comes off the bench and scored. Even if he doesn't, he'll still start for England.

Chelsea are in talks with former Bolton performance director Mike Forde as they look to boost their backroom team. (Guardian)
- Good move for them; Bolton's success is largely due to their sports science.

New Newcastle boss Sam Allardyce padlocks the training ground at 9.45 every morning so latecomers cannot get in. (Mirror)
- Top quality, though I'm glad I'm not a top-class footballer...

From The Guardian's Rumour Mill:

Villarreal are on the verge of selling canny playmaker and big game bottler Juan Román Riquelme to ... Bolton!
- Yeah right.

Finally, and in no way connected to the fact that Frank Lampard wants a pay rise, reports have surfaced that the Chelsea midfielder is a target for Internazionale.
- I used to have a lot of respect of Michael Douglas Jr, but...